Disclaimer. Danger! Danger Will Robinson!
Disclaimer. Disclaimer.

Life used to be much simpler. Then they invented lawyers.

Ours have told us that you should know that in their opinion what’s in this Web site is our own twisted little convoluted vision of the world, full of creative license, blatant dreaming and other nonsense, written in a disgustingly sarcastic, irreverent and sometimes insulting crude and unorthodox style. But it’s ours.

So, we ask that as a visitor, you adhere to our terms and conditions for using the Web site. In fact, in the weird and unfair world of legalese and the true spirit of the Internet, by accessing mobium.com, you indicate your acknowledgement and acceptance of these terms and conditions. Isn’t that a bummer?

Trademark notice
The purpose of this Web site is to inform, educate, maybe entertain and occasionally with a little luck inspire practitioners in the art of business-to-business integrated branding and communications. But altruistic education and all that other mumbo-jumbo only goes so far.

So Mobium.com contains trademarks, copyrights and other intellectual property rights of Mobium Creative Group and other third parties, including our valued clients. All such rights are proprietary to their respective owners.

Restrictions on use of materials
You may not change, copy, reproduce, republish, use, upload, download, post or distribute in any way any material from this Web site including code and software without the written permission of Mobium Creative Group, unless expressly permitted in the text of the Web site. You may not pass go. You may not collect $200. You may not even go out in public wearing white shoes after Labor Day.

When the text of the Web site allows, you may download and distribute those materials on the Web site to which the permission applies, but only for non-commercial purposes, and provided that you do not alter, modify or receive payment for the materials in any manner. As if there’s anything in here worth getting money for. God knows we don’t get any for this stuff.

You may not remove any copyright or proprietary notices on any of these materials and also agree not to denigrate, disparage or otherwise make negative reference to Mobium or its clients. (Yeah, right. That’ll happen.)

The following copyright notice must appear on copies and reproductions of any Mobium materials taken from the site: “© 2002 Mobium Creative Group. Used with permission. All rights reserved.” Any other use of the documents and materials in this Web site is strictly prohibited.

What we won't do
In the course of interacting with you, we may ask for your email address or other information. Rest assured that we'll never share this information with anyone else. In addition, we'll always let you opt out of any unsolicited communications we may throw your way. If for some reason you've found yourself on our mailing list and want to get off it, just email us. Or, if you're really pissed, call Bob Goranson.

One more line to cover our butts
Should you come across any links that take you out to the Web to other sites (and there are a few in the “Learn more” pop-up boxes), be advised that we don’t necessarily endorse all of the materials found on those other sites. Nothing we’ve pointed to contains ads for lusty co-eds and offshore tax shelters, but please always think before you link. It’s a dangerous, lawyer-filled world out there.

(By the way, how is a lawyer like a sperm? They both have about a 3-billion-to-one chance of ever becoming a human being.)

Mobium Creative Group may periodically revise these terms and conditions by updating this posting on the Web site. Not that we think that anyone, except the most anal, paranoid and humorless, would find this legal stuff interesting or enlightening. And if you’ve read through all of this, you are a sick puppy. Go see a therapist.